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No One Likes Moving On: How to Process a Breakup

Mindi Wikstrom, BA- August 5, 2023


Breakups are hard. Apologies for the underestimation. Breakups are complex, messy, and emotionally charged experiences, filled with pondering "what ifs" and "whys". Ultimately, they inflict pain upon someone. It's important to acknowledge that the process of healing and moving on is not a linear one. Typically, when individuals part ways, they leave behind a multitude of shared memories and deep emotional, physical, and even spiritual connections.

Whether you've been in a relationship for two months, two years, or two decades, it's inevitable to experience moments of pain and the desire for closure. Navigating breakups is a complex process, filled with countless shades of gray. Each relationship is unique, requiring careful consideration of various nuances. It's important to recognize that there are no clear-cut answers or one-size-fits-all solutions when it comes to this emotional journey.

  • Recognizing that it's okay to cry and acknowledging the importance of allowing yourself to express your emotions through tears - Crying signifies a connection and emotional investment with someone; it demonstrates that the time spent together was not in vain. Whether you are the one initiating the breakup or on the receiving end, there is a feeling of loss, and it is completely acceptable to mourn that in your own unique way. It's important to remember that everyone's grieving process is different, and that's perfectly okay.


  • Process the break up how you feel comfortable processing - Whether it's with a trusted friend, therapist, or a close family member, it's important to open up and share your story about how the relationship unfolded. If you prefer a more introspective approach, I recommend journaling or using a voice memo to express your thoughts and feelings. I strongly urge you to process any hurt, confusion, anger, or sadness you may be experiencing, as failing to do so could manifest in unintended ways.

  • Don't Catastrophize your Identity - Although you may have experienced heartbreak, remember that you still have yourself. The end of a relationship doesn't define your identity, and it's important to be there for yourself. Embrace self-love and cherish the person you are. are There many others who love you for who you are, just because a relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean it's the end.

  • Forgive Them and Yourself - We're human beings. We make mistakes. We will never be perfect, and that includes the areas of relationships. Although break-ups can result in hurt and anger, it's important not to let bitterness take control. I, too, experienced bitterness after my own break-ups, but it wasn't until I learned the power of forgiveness - both towards them and myself - that I truly felt capable of moving forward. It's crucial to understand that forgiveness does not require you to see or interact with them, especially if the relationship involved abuse.

  • Understand that there are other people out there - Breaking up with someone marks the end of a relationship, but it doesn't signify the end of all connections. The world is teeming with countless individuals, each with their own unique experiences waiting to be shared. I encourage you to challenge yourself and meet two or three new people today. This isn't about rebounding, but rather about discovering different facets of your own personality and forging new bonds. It's fascinating how these interactions trigger the release of oxytocin, the bonding chemical, which plays a role in the intensity of falling in love.

  • Be there for yourself - Allow your mind and heart to grieve what needs to be grieved, but remember that you possess an abundance to offer the world. With your unique talents, ideas, and passions, there are countless discoveries awaiting you. A breakup should not dictate your future; it simply means you were not meant to be together, prompting a shift in priorities. Moving on is undeniably difficult, and few of us actually relish the process. However, upon reflection, many of us realize that it was ultimately for the best.

As mentioned earlier, breakups are complex and encompass various aspects that need to be considered. If you find yourself in need of someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to reach out to Creative Counseling and Studio. They have a team of specialized therapists who cater to a wide range of mental health needs. Whether you prefer telehealth or in-person sessions, they are here to provide the support you require. Feel free to contact them at (402) 401-4445 or visit their website at https://www.creativecounselingandstudio.com


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